The Rhapsodic Turtle
(Toward A Definition Of Myself As An Artist)
(1981)
1968
I am a turtle
I am not open for a good probing
I am frightened by heavy things
I am frightened by parasites
I am not introspective
I am depressed
When I am frightened I will not move from where I am
Because my legs, arms and head are not available for comment.
I have no assertion to make When others are asserting
I have few when they are not
They always are
1969
I am a love sick turtle
I am open for a little masochistic probing
I am frightened by both heavy things and rejection
I am frightened by parasites.....but with vigor
I am not introspective.....But I am awake
I move back and forth from point "A" to point "B"
Only my arms and legs are extended
I have an assertion to make
1971
I am a Father turtle
Did I want to be? (Stupid question)
I am being accused of being a Father turtle by my mate!
(This is very strange)
I am not a fulfilled turtle
I am neutral on introspection
I am a nervous masturbatory performing turtle
I have no assertions to make (One learns)
1974
I am a briefly free Father turtle
Pandora turtle cracked my shell
1976
I am a wound
I am a no species
I am a naked turtle
(I keep drawing in my head and arms and legs anyway)
I am probed constantly
I am an urgently masturbating, naked turtle
1978
I am an infected wound
The infection is the medication
1979
I am naked and have gas
I am vulnerable
And I asked her finally....quietly
"Why did you leave me to be with him?"
And she said finally....quietly
"Because I'm more comfortable when I am with him"
Flesh burning....electric stink of change
Defiant tears
Violent tears
Self hate tears
Tears of simple sorrow
I have learned unknowable secrets from her
And the folly of nakedness
1980
I am naked
1981
I have a fig leaf
(The fig leaf grows from the place where society touches my primal scream)
I will show life me
I am not harmed by their choices
When I listen and watch
My expectations with chagrin
(Those bloody exit blockers!)